by special guest columnist Monsieur Liston Sinclair, Esq.
Good day. What a pleasure it is for me to voice my opinion regarding a series of Oriental praxinoscopic drawings entitled “Taimanin Asagi” so kindly provided by the proprietors of this news-paper. Though I am no stranger to the theatre, it has been a considerable time since I ventured out to the talkies. Imagine, then, my surprise when I discovered that not only do moving pictures now appear in full color, but have made remarkable strides in showing the basest of human functions.
The serial is told in four parts. Near as I could understand, given my limited experience with the tongue of the Orient, the loose plot involves a voluptuous female warrior who is forced into bondage by an old adversary (long thought dead, you understand) as part of a revenge scheme. Any attempt at storytelling is naturally immaterial, as the clear point of this short is to show nubile young women in a state of constant violation. Not only is this licentious woman subjected to a nigh-continual string of humiliation, but her male paramour and younger sister are eventually pulled into the delicious experience themselves.
As though contracted by the highest authority, the artists perform their task beautifully. A partial list of the delights one will encounter in this serial includes algolagnia, autagonistophilia, chronophilia, cratophilia, emetophilia, erotophonophilia, lactaphilia, mammaphilia, masochism, raptophilia, sadism, scoptophilia, sthenolagnia, teratophilia, urophilia, and a healthy measure of voyeurism. I myself once attempted to stage a live theatre showing which featured nearly the same proclivities, but found myself and my producer swiftly ousted from the township.
As far as critiques go, it was only my fondest wish that the tentacles were longer. “Taimanin Asagi” is an enjoyable romp, and I will doubtlessly enjoy more praxinoscopic theatre if this is the standard.
Editor’s note – the Monsieur Sinclair is an independently wealthy former libertine of strikingly advanced age. He was selected for this review for his singular knowledge of paraphilias and all things horrible. Any advice he gives should be actively avoided, or at least ignored.